Let’s talk about the mind.
That’s where the real fight takes place. It’s time to clear away some of the cobwebs hanging around in your cranium and take a fresh perspective.
Not getting too technical, but our research uncovered something extremely important – a thing called “cognitive dissonance”. This is nothing but a fancy way to say that a person’s actual beliefs don’t match up with their actions.
This can cause extreme discomfort and indecision – something you don’t want rattling around in your head during a fight. To win, you must be clear-headed, know exactly what to do, and then do it with decisive action. You can’t afford to be “working things out” inside your head while facing down an adversary.
Some of these beliefs are nothing but simplistic myths instilled in us as young boys – yet we still hang onto them as grown men.
Here are four of the most common examples — although we’re sure as you examine your beliefs, you’ll come up with plenty more. We’re avoiding the sugar coating here – and you should do the same with yourself. Because hanging onto baggage and childish notions will result in deadly hesitation in the heat of battle. Let’s take a look:
1. John Wayne Syndrome – a “real man” never backs down.
Now, there are people who actually live to fight. In our years of research we’ve met plenty of them – and we can positively say that spending any kind of time with them means that they’ll be continually looking to you for “back-up”.
If you want to be friends with this type of guy then you’d better be prepared to take many trips to the hospital and jail. They will break into their own version of “West Side Story” at the slightest indication of insult or reproach. These guys actually believe that a real man never backs down — and his actions match his belief.
On the other hand, if you’re not one of these “fight-at-the-drop-of-a-hat” guys, and yet you still believe that a “real man” never backs down – then you’ve got a problem. You must try to match up your beliefs with your actions.
That doesn’t mean we’re suggesting you start fighting more. No. It means we’re suggesting that you re-evaluate your beliefs.
If this is what you’d really do, then fine, your actions really do match your beliefs. But, if your actions would be different, then you must be honest with yourself up front – before that scene plays itself out – and come to grips that maybe you really don’t believe that a real man “never” backs down.
The key here is an honest mental evaluation of the differences in your fantasies versus what you’d really do down here on planet earth. It will save you a lot of mental torture.
2. Never Hit First – Another notion from childhood – because what’s the first thing that your dad or a teacher asked you after a fight? Wasn’t it “who hit who first?”. Well research proves that hitting first means you’ve got a damn good chance to win the fight. You’ve initiated surprise, dismay, got the guy back on his heels, and have an excellent opportunity to keep up the pressure until you can end the threat. Everything you want.
Oh… but wait… that’s right… you can’t hit first. Teacher said so.
It’s time to grow up and get away from this kind of thinking – it’s just plain dangerous.
Let’s forget fist-fighting for a second and think about it as a gun fight. Would you allow an armed opponent the first shot? I sure hope not. Same goes with hand-to-hand combat. Do NOT freely give away your main advantage because of some misguided idea.
3. Fair Fight –
This is more common than you’d imagine. Stuff like don’t hit a guy with glasses… no hair pulling… no biting… no eye gouging… and so on. If you actually believe this, you need to add one more to the list… no fighting.
It’s like the British officers who were so disgusted with the way “unchivalrous” American colonials fought. Those savages
actually “unfairly” shot at them from behind trees and bushes. How uncouth.
Let us be clear… in a fight you want an unfair advantage. You never want to purposely give away anything that may give your adversary the edge.
In one of the videotaped street fights we researched, there was a young man who had his face nearly bit off in a vicious attack. He kept screaming out “no fair… he’s biting… he’s biting…”.
We only hope you will not be as naïve. You must assume that your adversary will do anything – and that he plays by NO rules. We know it’s an ugly thought, but you must treat every fight like it’s a life or death battle. The idea that you can somehow remain a “gentleman” puts you in an extremely vulnerable position.
4. Fight Your Fear – Fear is information; it’s not to be controlled or eliminated and is certainly not your enemy. Acting in spite of your fear is something called “courage”. We’ve seen too many “fight systems” that talk about “getting rid of fear”. Wrong! Understand that fear itself is a healthy emotion that’s protecting you.
You’d probably agree that being fearful of walking on the edge of a cliff is a fairly natural emotion to have. It’s simply your body’s way of protecting you.
The idea that you need to get rid of it is foolish, and will either result in “brain freeze” or will simply put you in greater danger. The key is to “listen” to fear rather than deny it or attempt to suppress it.
Use fear as a way to trigger “external focus” – the key to avoiding “brain freeze” or the deer in headlights phenomena. You can’t afford to stand there drooling while waiting to “snap out of it”.
Okay… let’s conclude this “internal conflict” stuff for now. Use what you’ve learned to do some serious self-analyzing. Discover “gray areas” and where your indecision lies. Because with just 3-8 seconds to win a fight, indecision and hesitation can mean the difference between prevailing (and walking away), or taking that losers ride to the hospital… or worse… the morgue.
How’s that for positive ending?
All these information on how to develop your mind can be found on our Warrior Mind Combat modules and other training packages.